A friend of mine who teaches somewhere south of us has been off work with 'Man Flu' for a couple of days and sent this awful joke to us as a thank you for having such a great website, which has kept him entertained whilst he whimpered pathetically on the sofa!
Feel free to send in any jokes you think are better!
..........................................................
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First
is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites
him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a
spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he
disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat
anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp
house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with
coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them
both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to
himself, because lions eat anything..
He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is
to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is
attacked by the bees. He grabs
the spade and smashes the bees
to a pulp. By now he knows what to do
and throws them into the lions cage
because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at
the zoo. He wanders up to another
lion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with
Mushy Bees!"
Sorry - I did say it was awful!
Let's see if you can do better...
Mr Firth
Feel free to send in any jokes you think are better!
..........................................................
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First
is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites
him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a
spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he
disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat
anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp
house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with
coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them
both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to
himself, because lions eat anything..
He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is
to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is
attacked by the bees. He grabs
the spade and smashes the bees
to a pulp. By now he knows what to do
and throws them into the lions cage
because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at
the zoo. He wanders up to another
lion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with
Mushy Bees!"
Sorry - I did say it was awful!
Let's see if you can do better...
Mr Firth